It was so simple in the moonlight

Tue, 11 Mar 2008 01:27:59 GMT

3 days left before I head to Chicago!!!

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 17:23:53 GMT

Pancakes!

Thu, 23 Aug 2007 22:00:45 GMT

I'm more sensitive to the criticism I receive than I let on.

I'm bored!

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 20:34:50 GMT

I need to find things to do on my days off. Things that don't involve spending money.

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 01:45:54 GMT

My summer can now begin and I finally have some room to breathe.

Thu, 05 Jul 2007 03:00:16 GMT

I love how I can relate so many of life's experiences to an episode of Friends

Sat, 21 Apr 2007 04:21:00 GMT

I was at the mall a few days ago and I was walking in front of an old couple and the lady was telling the man that he was right about something and he told her "see, who are you going to call when you want to know if something looks good?" To which he himself replied, "Ghostbusters!"

I really hope that I have someone with a sense of humor to grow old with.

That got me to thinking about marriage and how quite a few of my friends seem to be getting married, which is shocking because they're only 22! I guess it's just weird because I can't imagine myself getting married until.....actually I can't even imagine myself getting married! That's how removed from my mind that idea is.

People don't seem to take marriage seriously anymore. I've seen enough marriages fall apart in my life so I've kind of lost some of my faith in that whole "holy union" thing. I've always said that I would never get married, but I suppose that love is blinding and when you fall in love, you end up eating your own words.

Thu, 19 Apr 2007 17:40:51 GMT

I've been so out of it lately. When my alarm goes off in the mornings, I have no idea what day it is or why I'm supposed to be getting up. It's so confusing. I'm tense and tired, I want it to be summer and I want to have fun. I want to go to new places and I want to stop skipping my gender class.

A few things that make me smile as of late:

* TAI - I'm really looking forward to seeing them in June
* The Almost - Southern Weather is pretty damn amazing
* The thought of sleeping in tomorrow
* The odd guy at Taco Bell
* Music Music Music

Yesterday I was reminded of how completely insane my family are and how much I love them for it.

Tue, 10 Apr 2007 05:48:00 GMT

Easter couldn't have come at a better time, spring break was winding down and my sadness was taking it's toll on me. Even though being with my family makes me feel less alone and a little happier, there's always that sadness in everyone's eyes because it's evident that something/someone is missing. All in all we laughed, reminisced, ate (a lot) and tried to keep each other smiling despite the gloomy weather and the broken hearts.

Thursday is TAi on Jimmy Kimmel! I'm pretty excited about going! That should definitely cheer me up.

Wed, 28 Mar 2007 04:58:27 GMT

It's been a stressful week and it's only Tuesday. Now is one of those times when everything seems to be coming at me rather quickly and I'm not able to deal with it all at once. I'm trying to deal with one thing at a time, but everything just seems to be dragging on. The good news is I avoided an emotional breakdown!

I hate it when things start to fall apart because I always end up feeling like I somehow failed. Like I could have prevented certain things if I made an effort to acknowledge the problems and do something about it. I'm always in denial and when reality sets in I panic and then feel sick.

I seem to be suffering from a few ADD symptoms

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 08:04:23 GMT

I have a paper to write and I keep finding new things to keep me distracted. I had this whole weekend planned out for all of my homework, needless to say I've fallen behind because I'm really not into studying for my sociology midterm and writing my women studies and journalism papers. I hate life right now.

Since I'm behind on my homework schedule, it looks like no sleep until I'm done with one of my papers. At the rate I'm going it seems like bedtime will be no sooner than 3am.

I'm doing homework on a Saturday night!

Sun, 25 Feb 2007 05:18:32 GMT

In between doing homework and listening to music, I've been overwhelmed with the feeling of missing things/people/moments/feelings. There's just a mixture of things that I miss dearly.

*It's all the little things like writing letters to my friends, walking to the park and swinging on the swingsets.
*Laying in bed with my feet against the wall listening to my cd player thinking about the future.
*Making collages of all my favorite things.
*Drawing my dreams on the blank pages of my sketch book.
*Sitting at breakfast listening to my mom talk about her favorite radio personality.
*Laying in bed with my mom watching spanish soap operas and laughing at how over dramatic the characters were.
*Having hope.
*Being a dreamer.
*Being 18
*The simplicity of my youth compared to the way things have turned out.

It's not that I'm dwelling on the past, it's just that I love every one of those things and it makes me smile when I think about them. I hope that 5 years from now I can look back at this part of my life and have things like that to miss.

At least now I can say that I tried!

Wed, 21 Feb 2007 07:15:15 GMT

I'm over it!!

P.S.

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 01:53:40 GMT

Happy Valentines Day

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 19:00:25 GMT

Apparently taking a 30 minute nap at some point in your day, reduces one's risk of dying from heart disease. I always knew naps were good and that's why I take a 2 hour nap twice a week! Now I don't feel like a lazy ass for doing so.

Read the article here

The highlight of my day.....

Wed, 14 Feb 2007 05:58:52 GMT

was coming to my room to take a nap after classes. That's how uneventful my life has been as of late! I feel like an old lady.

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 00:03:45 GMT

I've been having really weird dreams these past few nights. They all involve a very good friend of mine. I'm even starting to have a guilty conscience and I don't know why because I didn't do anything. It's really starting to bring me down....

I want to move to New York or Cleveland. Two pretty different places, but I have my reasons for wanting to be in either of those two.
I'm beginning to feel unhappy here, again, but this time I'm still confused as to why.

Time has been moving pretty slow and I'm starting to get the feeling that there might be something I'm overlooking, I just don't know what is.

.....

Tue, 06 Feb 2007 06:31:34 GMT

I can't really let go of something I never had a hold of.....

Sun, 28 Jan 2007 23:03:56 GMT

I have a feeling that this year is going to be tough in terms of learning to let go.

Thu, 26 Oct 2006 06:04:40 GMT

Some people REALLY need to grow up!!!

Mon, 16 Oct 2006 17:36:25 GMT

He reminds me of how I was when I was 18.

I used to dream the future in color, colors that only existed in a brilliant future, a future that existed in the life of a dreamer, a dreamer who truly believed that dreams would come true.

I dreamt my future with a hope that I cannot explain. I wanted so much and I truly believed that it would eventually be that way. I remember losing all of my hope and will for that future. When I listen to him speak about music with the same passion and love that I once had, it makes me wonder where my passion and love and knowledge and hope went.

With time came loss, responsibility, aging and change.

I used to fear change, but I always knew that I needed it. I've come to realize that when I'm unhappy I need to change the things that are causing my unhappiness. I'm still afraid, but I would rather venture into the unknown with the hope of making things better, than to stay in place and drown in sorrow.

I love life for the beauty that exists in all of nature.

I love the feeling of life, the sound of the breeze as it echoes past every inch of me. I love the feeling of the warm sun hitting my skin, the scent that lingers in the air after the rain attempts to wash away the unclean. The colors of the leaves that sway and fall during each passing season of change. The color of the sky on the brightest days and the darkest nights. I love every emotion that runs through my heart and soul, every impression that every person I come across leaves upon me. I love the feeling of love, hurt, me, you, us, life.

I miss being the dreamer.

I want to be able to dream in color again. The life of black and white with no shades in between are the realist in me. For a year and a half, I lived inside of myself, inside of my sadness. I want to live outside of the hole I unintentionally created for myself. I may be ready to start living.

Wed, 20 Sep 2006 01:17:32 GMT

I had some tea today and it tasted like Christmas.

Time

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 20:39:13 GMT

There aren't enough hours in the days that pass so quickly, they start to actually blend into each other making it more difficult for me to differentiate between past time, present time and the dreams I have during the very few hours of sleep I get each night.

I must say...

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 01:46:03 GMT

It really irritates me when people spell "loser" as "looser."

....

Tue, 07 Mar 2006 05:47:13 GMT

I thought I was over it, but my nerves feel otherwise.